lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
