Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize