I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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