i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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