if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize