So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
