I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
