all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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