my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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