great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
