yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
