so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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