Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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