I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
false alarm, still single
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