dude i'm inner monologue high
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
