we have pet lesbian snakes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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