At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
