I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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