Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
