I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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