I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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