Betty ford says i'm here all night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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