thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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