you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize