do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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