people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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