i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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