PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
