just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
