So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
