In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
