I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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