You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Screwed.edu
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
