I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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