I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
