i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He better not be in your backpack
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
