Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
