Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
