his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
