I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
