Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
