i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
