I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
