come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
is it fun? or sober?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize