ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
