You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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