You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
