the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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