Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
