Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
