she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You're a waste of cheezeits
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
