I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize