Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize