I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
