I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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