hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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