I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
