I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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