IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
