yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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