I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
