If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
